Rules for dating a salesman
"A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died.The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. You'll also need a lawn mower to cut the grass when it starts growing too long. After the customer left, the sales manager turned to the assistant. At the end of his first day on the job his boss fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today? "Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines.On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. Sales manager: And how about some fertilizer and weed-killer? Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen.People were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. Sales manager: Excuse me, but will you be needing a hose to water your lawn? " "No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.'"A nun is undressing for a bath and while she's standing naked, there's a knock at the door. " A voice answers, "A blind salesman." The nun decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she's naked so she lets him in.
Always sell more than what the customer originally came in for." Impressed, the assistant headed off for the pharmaceutical section, where he was to work. A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast.
"I'll see Heaven first," said the salesman, and an angel led through the gates on a private tour.
Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's loyal followers.