Dating your husband during separation dating hohner harmonicas
Guilt weighs heavy on my mind every time I drop off the kids or when I’m not around. I’ve been listening to motivational speeches every morning during my morning run.In the advice from entrepreneurs, engaging speakers, and occasionally a few fictional characters, each extolls the same nugget about living in the past: It’s never healthy or constructive. There’s no way to change what has already occurred. The past involves guilt and must be forgotten to move forward. Sure, I still feel twinges of remorse about not being around to tuck them in every night or being the face to greet them first thing in the morning, but every day gets a little more comfortable as the entire family settles into the new normal.For those three months, my visions of life as a single dad involved sitting alone in a living room eating takeout surrounded by only my stuff.It wasn’t true: Living alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Sure, I miss my kids, but the rest of my downtime is dedicated to new writing projects, working out (I’m training for a Tough Mudder), reading more and filling the time working side hustles and starting every project I’ve put off for the past few years. Financial concerns, problems around the house, kid issues, and every issue that comes with being a husband and wife and parents.Now I’m twice as worried about everything — especially the kids because I’m not around them as much — and lay awake at night thinking about the bills, the house, and all the issues I’m now handling on my own.I’ve memorized every wet spot on the ceiling and break up the worrying with regrets over not looking up during the final apartment walkthrough.Instead of telling the kids we are still a family, I say we still are family.
His favorite question involves which superhuman ability I’d take should every power suddenly become available.
Using my power of hindsight, which might be a superpower to some, here are some of the things I wish I knew before getting separated. Usually, the friends brought into the relationship or made during the marriage, stick with their original team though that’s not always the case.
I hope will serve as inspiration, or in some cases a warning, to others going through a split. I choose to be kind to everyone, even the people who refuse to acknowledge my existence.
Some seemed generally concerned about my well-being, how I’m handling the situation, how the kids are doing after the split and how they can be of assistance.
Others unload all of their relationships issues on me. I’m now privy to far too much information about the crumbling unions of friends, coworkers, and even the mailman.