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"With in-and-out relationships, [you] get to say ‘I want something real,’ but on another level, something more real is frightening," adds Greenberg.

You have to ask yourself: is there a part of you that would freak out if the flaky guy stopped flaking?

"You could [also] want to be a power couple, or you could see him as your ticket to being cooler than you are, because he's so cool.” The point is that if your internal bullsh*t detector lights up even a little bit when he talks, it's good to reevaluate some things.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of dating the same type of bad man, there might be something bigger going on.And if you can reduce your chances of dating a trash human (or just different iterations of the same trash human), why not, right?Here are seven types of Bad Men you may be hooked on, and why you just can't quit them: One day, he's sending you paragraphs at lightning speed, the next few days: nothing.But if this is a general pattern in all your relationships, it could be a sign of a deeper problem.“There are people who, at the first sign of ambivalence, are out of there – they want a secure attachment," says Dr. Greenberg explains that pursuing clearly inconsistent people can be a sign that you're afraid of going for someone who will actually show up for you.You might also find yourself only liking people who live far away, or are already in relationships, because there's a comfort in no commitment.

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  1. He’s very in-tune with the underflowing emotional energy wherever he is, and rapidly swims upstream when he feels threatened or overwhelmed, which is a life-saver when it comes to disagreements.