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Often younger people have less queer trauma.”And then you have to deal with all the haters.

He refused to come to my apartment (I had several thousand roommates), so we’d always hang at his place. and then feel like I owe you a blow job as payback for the guacamole. When the Older Man and I eventually ended it, I chalked it up to the age gap.

If you’re a gay person in your 20s, Ellen was out for your whole life.

If you’re in your 50s, you remember all your friends dying of AIDS.

The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.

People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: If you’re the older guy, you’re creepy and exploitative; if you’re the older woman, you’re both of those things plus delusional about your shelf life.

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